The Talk
by ohwhatsherface
Summary: AsuCaga. Kisaka gives Cagalli and Athrun 'The Talk'.


**Disclaimer – I do not own Gundam Seed.**

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**The Talk  
_written by: ohwhatsherface_**

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Ledonir Kisaka had a calm expression on his face as he sat on the couch parallel to another. Between the two couches, there was a dark blue plastic bag; its contents were unknown. "Cagalli," he said to the girl who was sitting on the opposite couch, tapping her foot impatiently. "There comes a time in every person's life where they begin to go through some… changes with their bodies."

A gasp came from Princess Cagalli Yula Attha whose jaw dropped.

"Oh hells no—"

The door to the room that they were both sitting in opened up and Athrun Zala stepped in with a curious look.

"Kisaka, did you call for me?"

Colonel Kisaka got off of his couch and went over to Athrun. He gestured to the one Cagalli was sitting on. "Please Athrun, take a seat." Shrugging, Athrun walked over to the sofa and sat down while Kisaka closed the door, locking it in the process. He went back to his seat and stared at them both. "Now as I was saying earlier, every person in the world, whether they be male or female, Natural or Coordinator, and so on, all go through a stage where they experience some physical changes—"

"W—Wait a sec, hold on!" Athrun interrupted with a terrified look on his face. "Are you trying to give us… _the talk_?!"

Cagalli's hands covered her red, embarrassed face.

"It depends on what you mean by 'the talk', Athrun," Kisaka calmly responded. Athrun's green eyes were wide open from shock and he shook his blue head disbelievingly. The girl beside him was whimpering pathetically. "Now, when a man and a woman love each other—"

"Kisaka we know this stuff already!" Cagalli exclaimed. "We are _sixteen_-freaking-years-old!"

"Which is exactly why you both need this talk now more than ever," the tanned man explained. "It is usually around your age when couples 'experiment' with each other."

Athrun waved his hands. "No, we're not experimenting—"

The grey-haired man snorted. "Right and the maids were all wrong and you've just been jumping on the bed at night, for the past month." The couple looked downwards with flustered faces. Kisaka cleared his throat. "Now, I apologize for this talk being a bit late, but there are some things that we must discuss. Athrun and Cagalli, sex is only meant for people who are married because sometimes, if protection is not used properly, the female can end up pregnant."

The bringer of all embarrassment reached for the blue bag between them all and took some things out of it, placing them on the table. A bottle of water, blister pack filled with twenty eight, white pills, a box with the word 'TROJON' written in big, colorful letters and a banana.

"No, no, no," Cagalli repeated as she stared at the contents on the table.

Her boyfriend sighed. He was sure Kisaka was going to make sure he knew how to use a condom… And he was going to make him demonstrate with the banana. Athrun shook his head.

"I'm never going to look at fruit the same way again…"

"Now, the best way to prevent pregnancy all together is to use the Pill." Kisaka picked up the blister pack and took one of the white tablets out. "Now once a day, always around the same time, a girl is supposed to take this pill. So if you take it at eight in the morning the first day, you should take it at eight in the morning the next. This is the most popular form of birth control."

He casually pointed to the first three rows of pills as Cagalli grabbed a pillow from the couch and buried her face in it.

"Kisaka there is nothing going on!" Athrun cried out.

"This can't be happening…" Cagalli muttered, her fingers digging into the cushion.

He continued talking, ignoring the Princess and her bodyguard. "There first twenty one tablets have a combination of synthetic estrogen and progesterone hormones. The Pill stops the female from ovulating meaning your ovaries won't release any eggs. It also thickens cervical mucus which makes it difficult from the sperm to enter a girl's uterus." He pointed to the bottom row of pills; those ones were beige. "These last seven ones are called the Placebo Pills. They're like spacer pills."

The Colonel slid the pack over to Cagalli who refused to touch it. He smiled at her then placed the pill that he was holding between his thumb and index finger right in front of Cagalli, along with the bottle of water.

Cagalli's amber eyes narrowed at the innocent tablet. Her gaze went back up to her guardian questioningly.

"Take the pill Cagalli."

"WHAT?"

Kisaka opened the water bottle for her. "I want to see you take the pill right now. Put it on your tongue." Reluctantly, Cagalli complied. She tapped her foot angrily, feeling both Kisaka and Athrun staring at her. Kisaka was giving her a fatherly, scolding look. Athrun was stifling a laugh at the sight of her displeasure. "Good, now swallow the pill. I brought water so you have no excuse not to do it."

Carefully, Cagalli stuck her tongue out at her like a child would. She pulled it back in and swallowed, not wanting the water Kisaka was offering. "There!"

"Let me see your mouth first," Kisaka said. Annoyed, the blond opened it and he nodded. "Okay, I believe you."

Athrun's green eyes wandered along the table and realized the only things left were the pack of condoms and the banana.

He groaned. "Oh for god sakes…"

Colonel Kisaka picked up the black box and opened one side of it. He ripped off two of the condoms and then put the box back on the table. He held one in his hands, and gave the other to Athrun who was slow to receive it.

"These are condoms, another form of birth control. Their main disadvantage is that though unlikely, they can break and the sperm can seep through," Kisaka explained casually as the two teenagers both blushed madly. "One quality of theirs that is better than the Pill's is that condoms can prevent STDs, sexually transmitted diseases." He smiled at the pair. "Cagalli might want to get checked but there is nothing to worry about for Athrun since he's a Coordinator and can't get sicknesses."

Said Coordinator buried his face in his hands as he leaned over, resting his elbows on his knees.

"Ha, sucker," Cagalli quietly mocked in retaliation to all the laughing he did during the talk about the Pill.

Kisaka handed the yellow piece of fruit to Athrun with a passive face. He sighed. "Athrun, if you do not want Mana or I or anyone apart of the staff to keep tighter security on the two of you to make sure you are in your own rooms at night, we have to make sure you will not get the Princess pregnant." Kisaka ignored Cagalli loud shriek and continued to speak in his 'nice weather outside' voice. "Now since we all know Cagalli can be very forgetful and will most likely not remember to take her pills, it will partly be up to you to make sure she doesn't wind up with child." He pointed to the condom in Athrun's hand. "We need to be sure you know how to use a condom."

Athrun looked at the fruit on the table that was sitting directly in front of him and the condom in his hands. He blinked.

"I know how to use a condom."

"We need proof."

"No seriously, I _know_ how to use a condom," Athrun repeated firmly.

"Athrun—"

"Kisaka, he _knows_," Cagalli loudly confirmed. "So can we go now?!"

He shook his grey head. "Neither of you is leaving this room until you know how to have safe sex. All Athrun has to do it demonstrate how to use the condom."

Cagalli lifted the pillow she was holding and buried her face in it to groan. Her voice was muffled as she spoke into it. "Oh my freaking gosh, this is not happening!" She whimpered loudly. "Athrun just put the goddamn condom on the banana!"

"No!" Athrun shouted back, looking at her.

She dropped the pillow on the couch and their staring match began. "Athrun," she ground out. "Put the freaking condom on."

"You do it."

Cagalli looked at him incredulously. "You're the one with a—"

"Well actually," Kisaka cut in. "As long as one of you knows how to do put on a condom, I do believe there is nothing much to worry about," he mused. "Yes, okay, one of you, please demonstrate how to use a condom properly."

The blond glared at her boyfriend. "You do it Athrun. For god sakes you are the one who is going to be using them. I already had to take a freaking pill! Put the stupid condom on the stupid banana so we could leave already!"

Athrun sighed and slowly picked up the banana. He grew annoyed knowing that the only way to hold it up was to put it between his knees. From the corner of his eye, he saw Cagalli giggling to herself. Athrun ripped the package open and put the rubber circle over the top of the banana. "Cagalli, you better not tell anyone about this," he muttered. He began rolling the latex downwards on the fruit and soon the banana was covered. He threw the protected fruit on the table. "There! I put a condom on a banana! Happy?! Can we leave now Kisaka?"

He nodded and got up from his seat. "Yes, Cagalli you keep those pills. Mana picked them up from the doctor's today based on your health records so don't worry, they're safe for you to take, and Athrun, you keep the condoms." Kisaka went over to the door, opened it, and walked out, leaving the couple alone without even saying goodbye.

Athrun and Cagalli looked at nothing in particular, both feeling quite humiliated.

"That was weird," Cagalli commented.

"Uh huh."

"I don't know if I should be totally disgusted and not want to have sex again, or to want to do it even more now that we don't have to be so scared about the consequences."

They both sat there silently.

Athrun smirked.

He was male.

He was sixteen.

He had hormones. "_So_…"

Cagalli quirked an eyebrow at him. "So?"

"You wanna?"

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**Spur of the moment thing…**


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